That is so true Sarah. People who have not been through trauma don’t understand what it’s really like to relive any of the memories. Being terrified about a past traumatic event is so different than people who are afraid of something. It’s more instinctual than logical.

I’m glad you’re doing better and I totally get it. I’m also claustrophobic. My mother was too, and she got stuck in an elevator when she was pregnant with me. To this day, elevators are still hard for me to get in. Her instinctual fear transferred to me that day.

Horses are amazing and can help us heal from so many things. I’m glad you found Sahara and she found you. <3

I personally think unless one has been through trauma themselves they can't really identify with someone else who has. I haven't been through what you have been through but have suffered panic attacks which actually started when I went to the dentist with a cold. I had two panic attacks while they were working on my teeth. The dentist said it was because my brain thought that I couldn't breathe (because of my cold).

That night I remember feeling claustophobic in bed and then struggled to sit in the back of a friend's car because I felt too confined. Six months later I had a panic attack walking through the shute into an aeroplane which then moved into my skin starting to crawl when all the doors were closed just before takeoff.

Back at the dentist at later visits I couldn't stand things in my mouth (like the cotton wads they put in to help them access your teeth) and I couldn't tolerate not being able to close my mouth when I needed to (which was difficult when I needed fillings, etc).

Eventually I sought counselling as it started to affect my daily life (particularly the claustaphobia). The counsellor asked why I didn't want to go back and relive those moments so she could help me work through it. She had never had a panic attack so didn't understand how frightening they were.

Thankfully I had a very good dentist who was very patient with me every time I visited her (once I stopped avoiding the dentist) and a husband who didn't force me to fly until I had worked through some of my anxieties.

It has all taken time. I am much better now (seven or so years down the track but still very 'aware' of things. I think part of the problem lies in the memory of the panic attack.

I certainly have emphathy for others who suffer from panic attacks which I never had before.

As for horses, my current horse Sahara, who I have had now for 5 and a half years, was rescued by a rescue centre due to an older lady having a number of mares who had foals who then felt overwhelmed. Sahara was rescued with the other foals when she was 5. The rescue centre quietly broke her in bareback in a halter and then eventually competed her before putting her up for sale, when I came on the scene.

I am very blessed to have her and as I have mentioned before, your courses have helped me so much with learning to listen to her. I am lookibg forward to doing the recess course with her shortly. Thanks for all you do, Teddie. I love getting your blogs each week and doing your courses x

Thank you Pat. 🙂

Thank you Teddie. You do such a great service in the world.

Thank you Pam. 🙂