It’s OK To Ask For Help Sometimes

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It’s very hard for me to ask for help.  

Somewhere in my childhood, it must have been drilled into my belief system around the concept of hard work and personal growth.  I’m not sure where the idea of doing it myself without asking for help came from, but that is a belief I have been trying to change recently.

I may have thought I was “wonder woman” when I was younger and could do all sorts of things by myself, but now that I’m not so young and athletic and I want to work smarter not harder.

I see this with a lot of horse owners too.  They get a horse, read some books, and listen to friends for tidbits here and there, but don’t really get any professional help with their horse issues because they want to do it themselves.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.  That’s how I was too.

I get it. I totally get that.  But since then I’m looking at things from a different perspective

Why take years trying to figure something out with your horse when you can get a little help and it will then only take a few weeks or months to resolve the issue? 

Why should I keep trying to fix something over and over using trial and error by myself and take so much longer when there’s a better, more efficient way to do it?

I’ve learned, later in life, that I’d rather ask for help with a problem from an expert who can help me resolve it in a shorter time.  This way I can then take the remainder of the time it would have taken me to do it by myself and enjoy it. 

I am a true handywoman around the house and can fix almost everything.  But,  I am the first person to pick up the phone and call an electrician or a plumber before trying to fix those major issues myself.  Little ones, sure.  A big one, nope.

Time is precious to me.  And spending quality time with my husband, family, and especially my horse is also precious to me.  So if I have to call in some reinforcements to help, which gives me more quality time to spend with loved ones, I’m all over it.

I bet you think that since I’m a horse trainer and I’ve owned and worked with horses for the last 50 years (wow) that I would never ask for help when it comes to my horses.  

Nope! 

It’s a matter of time, opportunity, and what’s best for my horse.  If I can do it myself, I am all over it.  But, if it’s not in my realm of expertise, or I don’t have the time, or I don’t have the right equipment, then I ask for help from someone I can trust.

Here’s an example:

My father-in-law was diagnosed with terminal cancer recently and my husband and I have been spending a lot of time with him and his family.  Our priorities have changed for obvious reasons. Which has meant I’ve spent less time with my new horse Merlin.  

Then my father-in-law went downhill fast and home hospice was called in.  He passed away about two weeks after the first call to hospice.  This all seemed to happen very quickly.  Now there is so much more to do to help the family.

In the last month of his life, everyone was in panic mode.  We’ve all been living day to day trying to deal with all the stuff that happens at a family member’s end of life.  But now the franticness is over and we are dealing with all the procedures, paperwork, and depression that goes along with losing a loved one.

That being said, I know it will be another month of supporting my husband and his family with all the “things” that have to be done and with learning a new way of moving forward without his father.  And I know that means a lot less time with my horse Merlin for the next month.

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So I asked for help.

I asked the barn manager, who knows Merlin, interacts with him daily, and who Merlin likes, to give him some special attention for the next month while I’m busy.  She is a young trainer and she really loves horses and that’s what matters the most, her heart.

So for the next month, she will be working with Merlin on stuff he already knows from our training.  Plus I’ve asked her to work on something we started but couldn’t finish – trailer loading.

You saw in an earlier blog that I had started working with Merlin on getting him used to walking around and being close to a few trailers.  However, I don’t personally own a trailer nor a truck to pull a trailer. 

Therefore, I would have to lease a truck and trailer from someone in order to finish training Merlin on loading, unloading, and hauling.  His breeder sold him to me saying that he had been trailered before and had no issues.  Fingers crossed that he remembers this and everything goes well.

I didn’t ask for help because I couldn’t do it, but the opportunity and timing were good to ask for help from the barn manager for Merlin’s sake.  

I want him to have the extra attention since I can’t be there and  I don’t want him to feel abandoned or alone.  Plus, she owns a trailer and a truck and can easily work with Merlin on this one specific issue.  

I’m taking advantage of the opportunity and timing.  

It is a good situation for me, Merlin, and the barn manager. I trust her not to harm Merlin because I know she has a good heart and at the end of the day, she really loves horses.

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I’ll let you know in a month, how it worked out.  I’m sure it will all be good.

So, next time you get stuck on a problem or an issue, you’re not sure how to proceed, or it’s taking you too long to fix, I would suggest that you call in a professional to help you.  Even if it is just one little issue. 

I’m always here for you if you want to get some advice about a problem.  You can email me or set up a complimentary call with me.  I will help in any way I can or send you to someone I trust can help you.

Until next week, Happy Horses!  I will be spending this month helping the family deal with the loss of a loved one and Merlin will spend it enjoying this month with a friend learning something new.

 

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