A Common Mistake


A very nice horse woman said something this week that really resonated with me. And I think there are a lot of people out there that may feel the same way she does.

She said, “I don’t have the confidence in myself and my horse knows it.”

She went on to say, “I know my horse feeds off of my insecurities and fears and this just makes it tougher for us. I get scared, then he gets scared, and then it spirals.”

It made me think about the old movie ‘White Christmas’ with Bing Crosby, where he sings a song called ‘Count your Blessings’.

It’s a beautiful song. And one line really stuck with me… “When I’m worried and I can’t sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep”. It’s basically the same thing as telling someone to stay positive, but this was putting that positive thought into action.

You really are the creator of your own reality.

When you think positively, things usually get better. When you think negatively, things usually get worse. Counting my blessings when I go to sleep keeps my mind positive and I find myself waking up happy.

And of course, I always count being loved by my horse and loving my horse whole-heartedly as two cherished blessings.

Later this week I spoke to one of my Personal Coaching students and she said something that followed this theme.

She reminded me of where she was before she started my personal coaching program. She said that there was one area of the pasture where she would not take her horse either by lead or while riding. This was because every time she had tried it her horse would spook and either run off or run into her.

She never was sure why her horse spooked every time he came near this area or why he was so terribly afraid. She just knew that he reacted strongly and became dangerous when in this area. And because of this she stopped trying to take him over there at all. It was just a place they avoided.

As I mentioned, this all happened before she became a Personal Coaching student. Well, she has been with me for about 6 months. So she now feels more confident about her connection with her horse and in her ability to handle any situation.

So, she decided to take her horse over to this area to see what happened.

At first she automatically became nervous because of her horse’s past behavior in this area. And she saw that her horse was starting to get anxious too. But she stopped right away when she saw this happening, took a few steps back, and calmed herself down.

She instantly felt her horse start to calm down as well. Once that happened she felt much more confident of her ability to handle this situation and she stayed calm. She and her horse walked over to the ‘scary’ area without incident and hung out eating grass and enjoyed the day.

She was shocked that nothing happened. Pleasantly surprised too.

Her confidence got her through her fear and it helped her horse get over his fear.

That is a Common Mistake…

Not having enough confidence in your horse or in your own ability to handle situations with your horse.

I’m not talking about having a false confidence where you think you can do something you have no experience or training in. That can put you in a bad situation that gets worse fast.

I’m talking about learning how to handle situations with your horse and then using that knowledge to connect and trust your horse. With this learning and experience comes confidence.

Real confidence that allows you to remain calm because you now have the knowledge and the tools in your horsemanship toolbelt to develop that confidence. This confidence also provides you with a more positive outlook with your training, your horse, and your life in general.

It’s all related.

I’ve seen women who have experience with horses but they still lack confidence in themselves. I think they are still feeling the uncertainty and fear that they had when they first started with horses.

Insecurity is a habit. They are used to feeling this way and it just keeps coming up. Those feelings are negative about themselves, their ability, their horse, and their confidence. That’s why staying positive is the first step in helping resolve this common mistake.

They don’t know how to get off the worry trail. They think they’re not perfect and feel that they don’t know everything about horses and that they should.

But you know what?

You don’t need to know everything. You don’t need to be perfect. You are enough for your horse as long as you love them and want the very best for them. You have to have a good heart and have the best intentions.

You just need to care deeply and keep adding tools to your horsemanship toolbelt. The more you learn, the more tools you add, the more situations you will be able to handle. With this learning, and your growing ability, your confidence should also grow.

Knowledge + a Positive Attitude = Confidence

I’ll be the first one to tell you I don’t know EVERYTHING. I know a lot about connection, communication, and companionship with my horses, but I’m not perfect in everything about horses.

I’m always learning. And I’m very happy about that. But I am confident in what I know and what I teach.

Create the life you want with your horse.

When you’re focused on the negative “What if’s”, the “But’s”, the “When I have this then I will be this, etc…

Then it’s not possible to create the life you desire with your horse from a dissatisfied present. Dissatisfaction just continually creates more dissatisfaction. That negative self-talk and the lack of confidence causes everything else to spiral down.

Break the cycle, continue your learning, grow and be happy, and connect with your horse at a true heart level so that you can …..

Find satisfaction, find confidence, find appreciation and find joy in your everyday life with your horse, and “allow” your present moment. Thereby inspiring you to create the future you truly desire with your horse.

Open up and watch it come to you.

Your innate, natural feeling is that of happiness and yet through time and no fault of your own you have been conditioned by others, by let downs, by fears, by mistakes, and by your own interpretations that somehow you’re not worthy of receiving what you want without difficulty and struggle. That negative self-talk again.

But, I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way. Sometimes people hold onto an underlying belief that life is hard and the good stuff is for others, and that struggle is normal. Some people feel that who they are is not quite enough for their horse or not enough to get what they want.

Until you can see that the beliefs like this are only the opinions of others or your negative self-talk that you think are true, (even though they usually aren’t true) then you will continue to create the same reality over and over again.

Ready to change those beliefs?

Do you want to create your own epic future with your horse and fulfill your dreams, rather than be stuck in disappointment, disillusionment, and the frustration of your present?

This doesn’t mean that your present is bad or that there is anything truly wrong with what’s currently going on with you and your horse. It means that you aren’t where you want to be with your horse and you still have dreams you want to achieve.

If you are making this common mistake and you want to stop, then book a private call with me and let’s talk about your hopes and dreams and set you on a new path. Let me help you break the chain. You can start your confidence building, with positivity and knowledge, with just one call.


Here’s what I want you to know:

  • it’s not as scary as you think it will be and your dreams can be achieved.
  • Everything is possible for you!

It really is a wonderful feeling as you begin to unlock your natural instincts and grow in your knowledge about your horse. When you start truly getting results and becoming confident, happy, and part of the herd in your horse’s eyes.

If you want to transform your current reality into your desired reality, with a no BS approach and led by someone who understands your journey, who can truly see what you can’t, then book a free private call with me.

How much longer will you wait before you take action that truly serves you and your horse’s dreams? You’ve seen it’s hard on your own, I know I have done it, and it can take years.

Let me show you what you can’t see, connect you deeply and consistently with your horse, fill in the gaps you know are missing, and lead you to the life you truly want to live with your horse.

Why am I saying this?

Most people who try it on their own usually get it wrong the first time. Sometimes even the second and third time. It’s a difficult thing to do sometimes. There’s a lot of trial and error and every horse is different. It took me years to learn what I know and I’d like to help you cut years off of your learning curve.

Even the very top sports people have a coach because a coach can see areas for improvement that the athlete can’t.

This is also why you need to stop beating yourself up if you’re not where you want to be yet with your horse. This is why you need to keep learning and keep going and moving forward.

Accept that perfecting your horsemanship can be a challenge and embrace the process. Accept some help and support to get you through it smoother. Love that it is sometimes hard and takes the time it takes.

Be grateful that you get to rise to the challenge and show your horse how much he or she means to you.

There is one strategy that I’ve used repeatedly to make my student’s dreams a reality. Less effort, better results, and amazing transformations.

Details of how I do it are right here

I also have self-study courses and lessons broken down into smaller chunks that are simple to digest and follow. Succeed with ease.

If you’re going to do something worthwhile like trying to reach your dreams with your horse, the training curve can be made smoother and much shorter if you just ask for some help. If there’s one skill worth improving that will positively affect all aspects of your life…

… it’s learning to ask for help.

Hope to hear from you soon. Let’s chat. It’s free and I love to talk with like-minded horse women about anything horses.

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