On one of my recent phone calls to help a woman with her current horse problem, a woman asked this poignant question…
“But you have to be forceful with your horse at some point, right?”
“No,” I replied.
She wasn’t convinced.
“Well, making your horse do what you want is the quickest way to get the results you’re after, isn’t it?”
It was less of a question, and more a statement.
“No” I responded gently.
She was confused.
“Using force actually makes training go SLOWER, not quicker”, I said.
By now she was totally lost…
“Really?? Are you sure? That can’t be right!”
“Yes, I’m sure.” And I had to giggle on that one.
“Think back to a job you had when your boss was a real pain in the backside. Can you think of one?”
“Oh, yes,” she said. “There was this one gal at an office I worked at and she was a real piece of work. She used to chew us out for the smallest of mistakes, and in front of the whole office too. It was so humiliating.”
I could see her face go red as she was telling me, the experience had clearly left a nasty impression on her.
“And how did you feel about her?” I asked.
“I couldn’t stand her!” she shot back. “None of us could.”
“I can tell,” I said. You could really hear the disgust in her voice as she said it.
“So how motivated were you to do extra work or stay late?”
“Forget it. We all did just the minimum to get by and got out as soon as the clock hit 5. I was so relieved when I got a new job and no longer had to deal with her.”
“Would you have stayed if she’d offered you more money.”
“No way, I couldn’t wait to leave!”
“I don’t blame you,” I said…
“Because that’s exactly how your horse feels when you use force.”
“And especially if it’s had a troubled past and doesn’t trust people.”
She was suddenly silent…
You could just hear her brain working on this as she tried to come to terms with what it all meant for her and her horse. And then there was an “aha moment”.
“My poor baby…” she stuttered.
“Don’t blame yourself,” I said, “I think we’ve all made the same mistake; I know I did.”
Then I told her my story.
When I first started out with horses at 8 years old, I just did what everyone else did and what I was told I ‘should do’.
But as I got older, it didn’t feel right to force my horse. I wanted us to be partners, team members, and most importantly – friends.
So, I took a leap of faith…
I decided I was going to listen to what my horse wanted too even if it meant not always doing what I wanted.
That set us on a path toward a new and very different future together.
A future where I learned to trust my horse with my life…and there were a few occasions where this is exactly what I did. That trust was put to the test more than once and he did actually save my life.
I wanted a future where my horse would become my protector and my best friend and that we could ride anywhere, anytime together without issue.
And all it took was one decision…
To open my heart and allow it to guide me…
I told her that, “Of course, I had to adapt my training approach as you will have to if that’s the kind of relationship you want as well.
But once you do, you will never be the same. And neither will your horse.
Your relationship together can be magical… if you let it.
This was exactly what she really wanted.
So, we talked more about her current issues and what she could do to fix the little ones quickly and work on the deep, core issues to resolve them in a few months.
The beauty of it was that this wonderful, loving horse owner who thought that she had to use force on her horse learned to follow her heart and get the results she wanted without ever hurting her horse.
The difficulties that she was having quickly became non-existent and problems that she thought she could never get rid of started to smooth out naturally by themselves.
The impossible became possible.
The fighting turned to love.
And all it took was one decision…to leave behind the ‘shoulds’, the ‘musts’, and ignore the naysayers…
And trust her heart and her horse.
I have been blessed to have worked with so many brave, loving souls who made that same decision.
They found the courage to break out and ‘seize the day.’
I helped them break free from the “old rules” and create new rules for how life can be when you work together as partners and friends.
I’ve seen other students go from frantic, frustrated, and frightened around their horse…
To becoming natural horsewomen and accomplishing their dreams in months instead of years.
I’ve seen so many horses go from pushy, aggressive, and non-caring…
To becoming a brand-new horse that is happy, expressive, loving, and wants to be with their owner all the time.
If this is what you really want…
Then I’d love to have a chat with you and explore together how we can create a new dynamic for you and your horse as well.
Book a call here and let’s talk. This is a complimentary gift for you.
Let’s chat about what’s currently going on, what you really want with your horse, and how we can fix this for you.
This is about changing your life with your horse permanently.
This is about becoming one with the energy of your horse, attracting, and receiving what both of you want.
And on repeat.
It’s about you getting what you’ve always wanted with your horse…
And your horse getting the best human partner he or she could ask for.
And you can do it all without having to use force, pressure, or punishment.
When you trust and follow your heart…
This is what I do. This is what I’m good at.
It’s my life’s purpose to help loving horse owners achieve their dreams with their horses. Plus, I want to help as many horses as I can get the best possible humans in their lives as well.
Please leave a comment and let me know if you booked a call to chat about horses and if it was helpful.
Do you know someone who needs to see this? Please share it. I would be eternally grateful. My purpose is to reach and support as many horse owners as I can.