The hurrier I go, the behinder I get

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It has been a whirlwind of a week for me!

I have been working on finishing up the last little details of my new website, finishing a new 7-Day mini-program for boosting confidence with your horse, making more lesson videos, putting the finishing touches on my new online Academy, as well as my normal chores around the farm and the house.

On top of that, my husband is going in for surgery to get a pacemaker so I’ve been helping him with doctors’ visits and tests, paperwork, and all sorts of issues for his hospital stay. Of course, Covid-19 only adds to the complexity of it all.

And of course, I’m still continuing to work with my personal coaching students each day so it’s been a busy week.

As much as I have going on though, I always try and get down to the barn and spend some quality time with my Apollo. We are still grieving together, but he is getting better and better every day.

We go hang out with his new buddy, Danny Boy, then we go visit Maxie and Taz and eat for a bit with them, and before we go back into the pasture we stop by and say hello to the “girls” (JoJo, Rena, Sokey and Anta).

And that’s in between us walking around the farm together checking out the chickens and the turkeys, the best patches of green grass, and the nice shady spots to cool off.

It’s interesting to me…

I go to bed exhausted and stressed out but wake up feeling refreshed until I start thinking of all the things I have to do during the day and the stress comes right back. Then I think, “I’ll work through the morning, get stuff knocked out, and then I can go see the horses later today.”

Well, I did that but the day got away from me and before I knew it, it was night time. And I never got out to the horses.  Even though I had done so much work and accomplished a lot that day, I was totally stressed and even more overwhelmed.

The next day I woke up anxious about all the work I still had to do, and I realized I had to pause and re-evaluate. I didn’t want to get caught up in this vicious circle that was happening right in front of me.

My horses are always more important, and I NEEDED to be with Apollo to help him go through his grieving process and heal. So, no matter what I have to do each day, I know I have to go out to see Apollo.

The temperatures here have reached 100 degrees with 100% humidity this week, so I have had to get up extra early to be with the horses to try to beat the heat.

Just a side note in this heat – I’ve been taking 7lb bags of ice out to the barn and putting one bag of ice in each water bucket and 4 bags in the large troughs and the horses love it. As soon as I put it in, they begin to drink it up.

The water heats up so quickly during the day and the horses don’t like to drink HOT water. The ice works great because it tastes good and it keeps the buckets cool for a few hours.

Anyway, when I got out with Apollo my brain kept telling me I had to do this when I got home and then this, and this… You know how that “monkey mind” can work sometimes.

It took a bit, but I finally calmed that down and got back to being “in the moment” and I could enjoy just being with Apollo in nature and appreciate what I saw, heard, and felt.

It turned out I was out there for about 2 hours before it got too hot for me. But when I got into the house, I realized how calm and relaxed I was. It was like a breath of fresh air as if I had slept for two days straight.

I was surprised at how different I was after being with Apollo than when I left the house.

It was so refreshing and healing for me too because I was in essence “hitting the reset button”.

My brain and body got a chance to power down, in order to be stronger when they powered back up.

So, doing less actually did more than if I had pushed through and just kept going.

Yes, I always tell people how profound and healing just being with horses can be, and I know this as a fact from my own experience.

But sometimes I forget it.

This was a good reminder for me and I wanted to remind you too. If you are caught up in the day, stressed over work, overwhelmed over personal issues, or whatever it is…

Make time for your horse! It will make it all better.

I was more relaxed, calm, more focused, and my mind was clearer. I actually got more work accomplished that day with 2 hours taken out to be with Apollo than I had the day before when I worked 10 hours straight.

That old saying came to mind, “The hurrier I go, the behinder I get” by Lewis Carrol and it was true in this case.

Even though it sounds counterproductive – it was just the opposite. When I took time out of my day, away from work to relax, I actually accomplished more.

It reminded me of what I am constantly saying to my students – “The more you slow down to get the details and the fundamentals correct, the faster your progress will be.”

It sounds counterproductive, but it actually works.

When you work from a solid foundation that is built on love, trust, and understanding, your horse will be more willing, thoughtful, and considerate of how the two of you interact together.

You’ll be building and developing a relationship out of friendship instead of domination, fear, or routine. It looks different and it feels different.

If you have this, then you know exactly what I’m talking about. It is a true blessing.

It is hard to explain it explicitly enough in words as there really aren’t words in the English language to express it properly. The closest word would have to be “Magical”.

I hope you have this with your horse. But, if it is something you are still searching for or working on developing, I wish you all the best in getting what you want.

And if you would like any help or just want to ask me a question about my experience, I am always here for you and your horse.

And remember to make the time to be with your horse and to be patient – take the time it takes to bring out the magic.

It is always worth it!

Please Share


  • I so concur with you Teddie on the absolute necessity of spending that quality 1:1 time with my horse. I find such companionship with him. He is a horse I got from a rescue almost 7 years ago & I have spent so many hours teaching him to trust. It has been such time well spent for him and me. One trainer asked me years ago if I wished I had gotten “an old mare” who was easy to ride instead. I told him no, how would I have learned this much! My horse has been and continues to be my biggest teacher, even though I think I am teaching him!
    Thank you Teddie for sending this weekly inspiration – you get me to sit still and reflect on my best buddy and our process. My best to your husband on his surgery & recovery.
    Cynthia

  • aww, Teddie, thanks for the reminder of remembering to slow down and spend time with our precious animals.

    Before I had even read your blog today I went to the paddock to hang out with my horse. I have been working on float training as I have mentioned before. Things had being going really well. I took Sahara out in the float last Saturday just up the road to a local beach/park, where we took her for a walk, let her eat grass, and Arliah had a short bareback ride. Went I tried to continue on with my floating the next day, Sahara didn’t want to go onto the float so I reflected on how the previous day had gone, and wondered if it was because she had sore feet. There was some stones on our walk. I decided to go back to square one and put her food into the float and let her eat it in there. Over the course of the week sometimes I let her go in there at liberty and sometimes I led her in. She was not as relaxed as she was prior to our floating out. I have not been able to put the back of the float up but I haven’t worried about that.

    Yesterday Sahara got front shoes put back on and today I decided to not start with the float training but simply get in the present moment when I got to the paddock by reading my bible and writing in my diary. I just let Sahara eat the grass near the float. Eventually she wandered up to the float and onto the ramp to sniff for feed, so I went and got some horsefeed and she followed me up onto the float. As she soon as I turned around she would back off the float so I just left her feed there and let her go on and off as she needed while I sat down close by. I reckon she was much more relaxed by me not starting with the float training.

    I am trying to be much more mindful once I get to the paddock. I remember on one of your courses, Teddie, you said to spend some time just looking at the surroundings and just being, for a few minutes, before going to look for our horse, and to spend some time just hanging out with them before doing anything with them. I think that made a difference to Sahara today 🙂 I led her out for a walk in one of the paddocks and she was quite happy to do this until we came across some very low flying birds who looked like they were dive bombing very close to us, so we turned around and walked back. I am really happy with how our trust is developing while I focus on hanging out with her and not riding.

    I hope and pray that your husband’s operation goes really well, too. Thinking of you as you try to complete your ‘to do’ list before your website goes live. Very exciting indeed 🙂

  • melissa gannon says:

    It was great to read that Teddie. For the last week I have been flat out busy. I made sure I spent a lot of time over the weekend just sitting and hanging out with Barney and gravy in the paddock. What a difference 😁

    • It is amazing how being with our horses can really help us both out – horse and human. I’m so glad to hear it.

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